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:	post by the_taste_of_cigarettes at 2005-08-21 14:37:59

I am making a public statement in response to rumors associated with myself and my bands The Taste of Silver, How They Light Cigarettes In Prison, and Monster Truck Rally.

For the most part you know me as Faust Eddie or Nicholas Cigarettes.

In 2003 a woman from Rhode Island made some statements that indicated that in 1999/2000 I had a sexual encounter with her that led to rape.

I know my relationship with the person involved and I know exactly what I did and didn't do and I know that in no way did I ever, ever have anything that in any way was non-consensual, forced, coerced, or anything of that nature with said other person.

For two years since I began to receive negative reactions based on these accusations I have taken the time to sort through what I remember as fact, fiction, and my feelings. Despite knowing all this time that I did not commit the act of rape, I have worked obsessively to learn from all of the backlash and to make sure that if I am to defend myself that I am truly innocent of this. I know that when I was 18 I was not always considerate emotionally, but I know that in this situation I acted responsibly and consensually.

None of the things people have tried to do over two years -- cancelling some shows, writing nasty message board posts, feigned "protests", etc -- has or will change the fact that I still never ever raped anyone in my whole life. No allegation has indicated that this supposed incident was six years ago and that creating some kind of approach, at this point, that is to teach me a lesson about things that happened then isn't going anything to properly address whatever issue would now be in the distant past. I am a very different person today than I was then, and furthermore the guy then didn’t deserve that kind of treatment either.

Given the same circumstances today I would not have made the choice of partners or lifestyle I had when I was 18; I was precarious and very open to whoever would have me. But life develops and we learn from those choices. I have grown as most people would have grown in six years time. Anything you wish to make me accountable for I've already been accountable for nine times over and I assure you whatever actions people choose take now isn't going to change the fact that I didn't commit the act of rape then or now.

I do not support rape nor any kind of hateful, hurtful, or violent treatment towards women. I have always believed that as men we have a responsibility to treat women in a way that is as good if not better than we are to be treated. There are unjust things that happen in this world, and it is a sad state of affairs. In the past I have been very outspoken about all genders treating each other with fairness and empathy. I believe that both sexes harm each other as well as improve each other in various ways and that it is on both sides to be fair, open, and honest with one another.

There is a right and a wrong way to handle things. I believe what has been happening in response to these rumors is a great example of how –not- to handle things. No good has come of this, and many people have been hurt because of irresponsible, unjustified, and illogical responses to the grapevine. My friends, band mates, lovers, peers, and others have been threatened and berated over this. It is not fair to them, it is not fair to me, and it is not fair to you people who are brought into this bedlam. There are real injustices and atrocities going on in this world that would have and will be served to be better attended to than these ultimately false accusations.

My email address is fireandjail@yahoo.com. In two years only two people have actually attempted to discuss the matter with me personally and discreetly. If you’d like to do so, this address and that method would be how. Thanks for reading this and I hope you will see what I intend to say and where I have come from.

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