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:	post by RichHorror at 2006-08-03 10:57:43

Dear Rich,

After sex, why does a womens vagina look like a bulldog eating cream cheese? What is the best way to prevent it from looking that way or cleaning it up?

Signed,

Woody Allen's Penis

Dear Woody Allen's Penis,

The female body is a disgusting, vile thing. It is wracked with disease and was actually made by Satan himself. I have found it to be a very ooze and leaky mess. With one exception. Give your lady friend what the kids call 'the big red smile'. Take a straight razor and slice. Start from under one ear, continuing across the throat until you've reached the other ear. She'll love it... I mean, it's called 'the big red smile'. Doesn't that sounds fun and jaunty? After this procedure is performed, the amount of mess goes down considerably. After a week or so, you'll want to behead her, cut off her hands and feet and douse the body in bleach. This is the sign of a gentleman who truly cares.

- Rich

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