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:	post by DestroyYouAlot at 2007-08-25 09:05:47

One time, as a teenager, I was walking home from scenic downtown Uxbridge after renting movies; this is a good 3 or four mile walk. Halfway back, I realize I have to take an epic shit. About a mile later, I'm experiencing a serious turtle head. But I can make it! Half a mile from my house, I see an old license plate on the side of the road. For whatever reason, I bend over to pick it up. Next thing I know, a cop car appears out of fucking NOWHERE, sees me with a license plate in my hand, throws on the blues and screeches into a 360 to come hassle me for what felt like about 4 hours (probably 10 minutes in real time) about what a heinous crime I had committed by picking up a fucking license plate on the side of the road, how I could be charged with grand theft auto if the car the plate was registered to turned up stolen, and how lucky I was he didn't "run me in." At that point, I almost wished he would have - I would've shit all over the inside of his cruiser. The remaining half a mile home was covered in kind of a pained shuffle. Not fun.

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