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: post by Bova Speaks at 2009-06-25 23:49:14
So here it is, what you've all been waiting for. Finally the man himself comes to the forum to set it all straight.Yes ladies and gentlemen it is I the one the only the most talked about man on this thread for a one time only appearance. You love him you hate him you love to hate him, the immortal one known better as Rich Bova. Now lets go back a few weeks to when this all started. I guess there were a few Rhode Island Grindcore Death Metal bands who for whatever reason started bashing the band I'm in which is Saint to Sinner. We're Hard Rock/Metal not anything even close to Grindcore or Death Metal so I can understand why these bands can't comprehend what we do and that's fine I don't expect them to. Now I guess someone from somewhere in this local Grindcore "scene" sought ought my personal my space page, saw my arrogant as hell headline of "it's not bragging if you truly are the best" and that's when the Bova bash fest began from endless pages of comments to my face plastered on just about everything in almost every possible scenario. Now no one doing this actually knows me and to be perfectly honest if I saw that headline I would think the exact same thing such as what a fuckin tool this guy is. However if you did know me you would understand why its there and why its really funny rather than completely self absorbed. Now in explaining this comment am I at all backpedaling ? Hell no, I am so much better than any one of you shit talkers out there. (by the way its only about 5 people doing the bashing so anything negative is directed there way and I don't mean to catch anyone else in the crossfire) Moving on.....by better I mean my playing is better ,my band is better, anything having to do with music is better, my job is better ,my house is bigger and better, my car is faster and better ,I'm clearly better looking, my dick is well its about average but god dam it works better. My balls on the other hand...large in charge and all around better. Here I go getting ahead of things so lets just stick to music. Since the word better is pretty subjective lets replace it with the phrase more talented. Yes, that works. I'm so much more talented than you not even up for debate. Now back to the headline. Since the original headline caused such a uprising I will give you the peons a chance to change it since everything I do I do for you and its not really my space its your space. Now some of you are not that bright so I can't trust you to write one so here are your choices. 1. Rich Bova the guitar heroes guitar hero 2. Rich Bova the only thing bigger than his ego are his balls 3.Rich Bova the most hated man by shitty Rhode Island Grindcore bands. Ok time to vote peons its all up to you remember every vote counts and on July 6 one month after the legendary KC's show the new headline will be unveiled. (By the way The Unveiling is the title of the new Saint to Sinner CD on sale and downloadable soon) Now to everything that is being said about myself and the band.... I love it , its the greatest thing ever. You peons have elevated me to true rock star status and deservedly so. Some comments are really smart and funny, some are just third grade ramblings and some just make you look ignorant. Anyone reading them can tell which is which so threes no need to get into that. Now what Bova really wants (uh oh a third person reference ,wow I'm such a dusuhebag) Anyway what I really want is more Photoshop I can't get enough of it. Put my face everywhere, have me doing everything.Think outside the box. So far they are good but I know there is better in you. Let me help you out. The Jesus stuff is great but go bigger. Have me parting the waters between Narragansett and Block Island. Have me hold the Ten Guitar Commandments (actually mine would go to eleven). Have them say things like"Thou shall speedily solo at every moment possible" and "Thou shall add another string to the masters guitar rather than tune down".See, I just gave you two only nine more to go. Work with me peons we can do this together.let me turn your Epiphone Les Paul copy into a vintage 65 sunburst. Allow me to turn your nightly dinner of Ramien noodles into an endless supply of healthier heartier Chunky soup . Wait, I got it, you peons need to recreate the last supper. Obviously I'm at the head of the table and here are my apostles. Hendrix, Page, Moore ,McAlpine,Gilbert ,Loomis,Malmsteen,Michael Angelo (the guitar player not painter) Vai, Satriani, Vaughn and Petrucci.(that was for youTolias) Now ask yourself why didn't I think of that? It's easy I'm also more creative than you. Hey don't stop now. There are plenty of other religions . My face on the Buddha would be classic.I could author the Koran.I want to throw lightning bolts at Athens. Switch it up and put me in a Spider man outfit swinging across Providence Place.Try to stay away from the superman stuff . That's been way overdone by the most NBA players. Try putting my face on Iron Mans body. look its "Bovaman" Even better, put my face on Dr. Manhattans body , turn the big blue dick into a 7 string and have me pissing on the local Grindcore scene since that is what I do best. Come on I can't think of everything , well I could but what fun would that be. Once again I love the Photoshop just whatever you do do it well. Now for the guys talking stupid shit (not the smart shit, just the stupid shit) I know your trying to egg me on but its just not working. I can't be mad at you. Look you can't get mad at a severely retarded kid for playing with his own shit. Why...because he's severely retarded and that's all he can offer to the world so all you can do is give him a helmet wipe his ass change his diaper and wait for the next shit storm. Its ok my Simple Jack bands, you just ma ma ma make me want to start a telethon for you Or as I choose to say, a Bovathon. Contrary to some of the things that have been said in my defense by people I don't even know (By the way thanks " whatever" nice job in making the dumb look even dumber) I don't think your jealous or envious of me or the band. I don't think your smart enough to be jealous.Follow me on this, if you hate the Lakers you probably despise Kobe but you can't deny most of the time he's the most talented guy on the floor. See we are as I said before a Hard Rock/Metal band I know you guys are just the heaviest of anything created I mean your really heavy wow are you heavy. I can't believe how heavy that out of tune chugging is I mean its just so heavy. The heaviest of heavy is no question you. Really now those three chords you play over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again are just so heavy in a way that heavy can't even begin to describe .I would direct others to your sites I'm afraid that but your heaviness would be to overwhelming for anyone who isn't as heavy as you. Wait no one is as heavy as you. God you are just so fuckin heavy. Its not just heavy its H.E.A.V.Y heavy that's how heavy it is. There is no way that more mainstream band like Saint to Sinner is in the sane league as you. Actually lets talk mainstream for a moment. Just because your" singer" screams it does not make you Lamb of god who are now pretty mainstream. When you change your name from Burn the Priest to Lamb of god because you know a major label would not go near the original name that's an attempt at mainstream. When your latest CD hits billboard at no1 that's mainstream. If you don't think sort of heavy bands like Lamb of god Slipknot and All that remains have made conscious efforts to target a mainstream audience you have no idea what the music industry is really like. Why would you, your still living with your mom and second step dad and will never go any further than playing your really heavy out of tune e chord at the local kegger. For the stupid guitar player I know this went right by you so I'll be a little more direct. I just insinuated your mothers a whore. For the stupid guitarists bass player it's pronounced in-sin-u-8-ed which means referred to . Referred means......never mind I know your way lost by this point. So peons that is your lesson in mainstream. Now before the retarded shit storm starts let me clear this up . I know we are not like any of those bands, I never said we were I'm just illustrating ........sorry making a point. By the way all those bands have really great guitarists. I like call their style Bovaesque. Now go tell Jamie Jasta he's a pussy for selling out to Universal records. Wait a minute Idea # 4 for the headline contest, Rich Bova not heavier just better and more talented.Have you guys noticed that no "better" band or "better" guitarist (by this better I better than you and right up there Rich Bova and Saint to sinner) have started bashing us? Its because they don't have to. They are good and confident in what they do. After a set when I shake their hands and say nice job I mean it. When they do the same to me they mean it. When we all ignore you we mean it. As I said earlier this will be my one and only thread since I have no interest in going back and forth with irrelevant bands and I have a job a life and actually get to practice once in a while. If you made it this far I hope this was somewhat entertaining for you. If you end up checking out Saint to Sinner or Rich Bova because of all that has been talked about that's a very cool thing. If you think you came across a great new band in the process even better. If you hate it thanks for at least checking it out. To all the talkers and photoshopers keep doing what your doing just make it good. Finally to the one guy who literally wants to fight us are you like ten years old. Do you want to rumble behind the seven eleven. Did you actually say your in a crew. Now this guy really is a tool. Listen Pony boy it's not the smartest thing to call out someone who you have no idea of what there like or capable of. Still, if you feel like a tough guy making fun of a girl singer go for it because she has more talent and heart than you could possibly imagine and along with myself could really care less. ( careless is by the way song 2 on the CD The Unveiling which again will be out soon) And that ladies and gentlemen and peons has been the word of Bova. Now go forth and do my bidding remember more Photoshop less retarded shit but whatever you do don't stop talking about Rhode Islands own Saint to Sinner. Your buddy, Rich Bova
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