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:	post by xmikex at 2009-12-18 10:42:48

If I want a cookie, I want a chewy, sweet delicious baked confection filled with chocolate, or raisins, or macadamia nuts, or peanut butter. It should be simple yet enough to have a party on your tastebuds like it's a 14 year old at a rhode island strip club.

THIS is a cookie:

I don't know what the fuck these are supposed to be:

But they ain't cookies. I don't know why anyone would ever bring them to a party, or why anyone born after 1940 would want to eat them but cut it out. It reminds me of the devastating disappointment of being a little kid at a boring family party, hearing that "dessert is out" and then running to the kitchen to find a plate of pale green and pink swirled abortions sitting on the table. The stale taste. The gravel like texture as you churn it around in your mouth. The feeling like you're eating a buttered up communion wafer.

It's horrible. It's awful. It's not a cookie.

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