so i just got a job as a security guard at a methadone clinic. Now the manager tells me that while its normally pretty slow and quite it can get crazy and a bit violent. so i think to get me pumped this would be a good time to hear anyone elses crazy hopefully violent stories from work. GO!

i used to work at this scummy ghetto kmart when i was like 15. I remember one time when this black couple started arguing. The woman started jumping all over the place and yelling and the guy just stood there trying to look tough. then he just walked up and decked her in the face. She instantly fell to the floor and a bunch of other customers tried restraining him. The store manager eventually jumped in, he was like 65 and small and frail. he never raised his voice or anything and he just jumps in trying to hold back this huge black guy.

oh yeah and another time this real old senile guy came into the store and shit his pants and left a shit trail all over the store.

i got to watch some genius pistol whip a nigga on my lunch break at a job i had a few years ago. oh the hilarity.

DeRtOxIa said:

hahahah "i'll tell you when one box of easy mac is enough bitch!"

When I bagged at Stop & Shop there was this old guy that used to come in all the time and never stop talking about his cats. He seemed like a nice enough guy even though he bought bags and bags full of cat food on what seemed like a daily basis.

One day he got in an argument with some lady in the parking lot. The lady was parked in a handicapped spot without a sticker. The old guy flipped out and started screaming at her. The woman, of course, wanted nothing to do with it because women are never wrong even when they're taking up a handicapped spot and a half for no real reason.

Arguably the guy was doing the right thing by standing up to some insensitive asshole. The whole thing went to shit though when the guy ended the argument with "SUCK MY DICK YOU FUCKING STUPID CUNT!" only to turn around and find an audience of a black woman and her 5 little kids standing there. He was almost arrested, and never allowed back to the store.

hahahahaha that should be on youtube.

i work at a drug store and i got yelled at once because we were all out of those tojan vibrating cock rings...

the funny part was that it was the same guy who bought all of them the night before

diarreha_blumpkin nli said:

What was he doing? Eating them?