Make jokes about gout, wind up with gout.

oh my.

Needs moar water, less booze.

a friend is also 26 and also has gout....is that the age to get it or something?

No. 70 year old lifelong alcoholics are supposed to get it but modern diets loaded with caffeine and high fructose sugars increase risk. According to the internet.

welcome to the club...here are some tips...try to cut down on foods high in purines...if you get an attack, eat cherries or strawberries...the red pigment has natural anti swelling properties

jokes.....get them

http://www.gout.com/

Cool gout site bro.

Get outta here ging.

So will you be wearing brown orthopedic shoes?

if you have high uric acid (a main cause of gout) you can also be at a big risk for kidney stones.

I could really give a shit. Anything else goes wrong this week and im just gonna off myself. Only going from the flu to irregular heartbeats to not being able to sleep to an injured left knee to gout in the right foot is real.

I've been worried about gout since after I work out, my big toe hurts on my left foot.

GET CONSUMPTION OR YOU'RE A PUSSY

Iis it red and swollen and unnecessarily painful? This hurts worse than the time I totally shattered my ankle. Come to think of it, im pretty sure my entire body is just defeated.

You goutta be kidding me!

Next will be demetnia which is good because you will literally forget all of those other ailments.

It's not red or swollen at all. After I run or walk a lot or row, it feels like a stabbing cramp in the joint of my big tow.

That sucks. Best of luck

I have definitely had that before, which is why I wasn't too worried about it the first couple of days. If it starts to get really swollen and feels like something is in the joint pushing it apart in all directions then you should worry hahaha.

The pain is retardedly constant. Stabbing pain sounds like more of a tendon/ligament thing.

Its officially gout and the medicine they gave me is apparently rather deadly if you suffer any side effects. Perform rituals, get to valhalla.

No gout about it!

Ive been following your updates all day on FB. Shits intense.

Eddie loves his lobster and port wine, but it comes with a price.

The funny thing is that I hadn't had any booze or purine rich foods for a couple days before the onset. I basically existed on OJ and frozen fruit bars because I was sick for 4 days.

Also, death meds haven't had any effect. If anything the pain is worse and walking is more difficult.

Nekrogout

yeah well I'm 23 and have one motha of a varicose vein, big old bulge on the back of the knee...and I learned that shit is genetic, my great grandfather's used to bleed.

It's so damn hot. 2 liters of soda was a bad choice.

i realize that this is old, but MY GOD this is foolish. If you have gout, the chances of getting kidney stones goes up tenfold. And while there are varying sizes of stones, the stones are usually going to be the more painful of the two. (in more ways than one..... stones are like a jagged marble, that can be as big as half a golfball (or even bigger in freakish situations) and that get pushed out your urethra, very slowly, and very painfully.. but that's only after they make their way from your kidney all the way around your side to your bladder, and then to your penis. There's a LOT of hurt in there, they say the kidney to the bladder is the worst because it has the smallest tube for the stones to go down... that's why kidney stones can be debilitating for people.) DRINK MORE WATER!

I hope you're not really drinking that much of the thing that helped do this to you.

Mike does not adhere to healthy lifestyle practices.

:-(

It's true. I've been passive-aggressively trying to kill myself for years but I am just too darn lazy.

I have no sympathy for you, then. That said sorry to hear your efforts to destroy yourself are paying off.

I started flossing, without cheating, 2 weeks ago and I already feel like a new man.

Only taking care of yourself is real.

Don't want or need any. Amusing anecdotes at my accord are actual.

I should start doing that...everytime I have a dentist's appointment, I regret not flossing afterwards, because the constant picking around my gums causes intense pain that doesn't go away for like a day or so

WTF is wrong with people? Time is the most precious commodity on the planet. Taking care of yourself is the only way to buy more time. You won't feel badass when you are 45, wishing you were dead from the issues you've inflicted upon yourself through poor self-care.

Another thing: Earplugs. Wear them, unless you plan on not listening to music in a few years.

Time is a waste. Who wants to be on this planet with all the cockholes and/ mouthbreathers anyway?

People are inherently good. Most people aren't even aware of their actions due to being in an unconscious state most of the time.

1) I don't want to grow old
2) I wear earplugs at every show, whether I'm playing or not

Dude, I'll be 60 and still running laps around my kids. For certain.

Age is a state of mind.

Just my 2 cents.

It's been my experience that humanity is deserving of a slow and painful apocalypse.

Not when you're pretty much a guarantee that you are going to get Alzheimer's...I never want to be a burden on anybody, hence, my reasoning behind not wanting to grow old

i absolutely agree with this. to worry about the natural progression of time and age is absurdly foolish. i could certainly take care of myself better, but i'm not that bad. really the only negative thing i do to myself is drink, and i don't even drink that heavily. i pretty much only drink beer. i do believe strongly in keeping oneself healthy, but i'm not going to live in a bubble. the age of reckless abandon came to a close when i hit 30.

however i do disagree that people are inherently good. i think a lot of people are, but in today's age, i think people are inherently neutral. it takes too much work for them to be good, but they also don't entirely want to be cold-blooded evil, so they just hover somewhere in the grey area and take what they can get when they can get it.

My father hits 64 this year and he could seriously pass for 25 years younger. Fear of growing old is based on worse case scenario assumptions.

my dad hits 57 and complains about pain like he is 90, and thinks that his memory loss isn't a lack of brain stimulation due to retiring, but a sign of degeneration.

i mean his father did have severe Alzheimer's at 70, but really, you can do more than accept it as fate.

my dad is 60, has arthritis and glaucoma, among other things...his side of the family is also where the Alzheimer's is coming from (his mother had it)

both sides of my family also have extensive histories of cancer

I have been very lucky in that my health so far in my life has been fine, but that does not mean it won't be down the road

So, live life in fear, or live life without the burden of the future, taking life moment by moment as we were meant to? I'll take the latter. Do all you can to take care of yourself and accept what life throws your way.

Or be miserable.

Look, I'm not living life in fear...ask anyone I know, I live my life like I want to

you said to take care of yourself, and I'm telling you I'd rather just eat, drink, and act how I want without worrying about my future because I don't plan on living that long

i'm fairly certain i'll be dead by the end of the year.

Yoda taught me all i needed to know as a young padawan.

"All his life has he looked away, to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was! Hm? What he was doing! Huh. Adventure. Eh! Excitement. Eh! A Jedi craves not these things."

My asshole hurts from pooping a lot. Should I be worried?

consult a mortician

Aaaand it's gone.

Only getting old and breaking down like a car is real... sadly I know this to be true

Luckily I still have the healing abilities of a young person. Now I just need this gem from the Deftones on Thursday to go away.



This is now the official "Mike Lirange can't go a week without some ridiculous injury" thread.

ITT: Mike Lirange is fucking cursed.

ITT: Mike Sacreligion starts his shapeshift into an Annuaki Draconian Overload from the constellation Draco. Beware, folks.

I see your brushstrokes bro

is there any point to put a legit effort into something like that?

...there's the integrity of the internet to consider, sir.

that looks shopped... and I should know. you can tell by the pixels right there and the large number of shops I've seen in my time.

ok guys be nice or else we'll cause aril to ironically quit transcend rttp for the second time this week!

7,000 years in hiding, all for naught. S+F, Jim.

Gotta agree and disagree here.

95% of humanity are moss. They sit, they eat, they do nothing that isn't purely for themselves.

The remaining 5% are the basis for a new species. Alert, aware, compassionate but not chumps (egalitarians).

They're hard to love but I love them

And sodomy, of course

Defeat Gout, drink more water, and smoke more dope

oh ya dude. I'm real hurt.

Hurt butt is hurt.

my butt gets hurt more during watery diarrhea, which is similar to the jewel folk acoustic bands he recommends.

Jewel is an analrapist.

Just to keep the trend going, I somehow got poison ivy by being cripled and stuck in my house for a week.

Where I had the bruise, no less. This doesn't make sense. Tune in next week for more "Does your life suck worse than a Mike Lirange's?"

Dude, what fucking gypsy did you piss off?

Well, it definitely wasn't the guy from Thinner.

cool personal updates bro.

i plan on living to 110