Dear Blackmetal fans and artists,

Now that your genre has sold itself out, we don't even remotely consider you a threat. In fact, we once worried you'd upset what people believed, but now that you've humbled yourselves by spewing out crap, we just don't care. You're just another special group of tools in a world overflowing with them. Please carry on and pretend you didn't read this message. It's important for us to have amusing tools of various stripes so we have something to mock when we're at overpriced bars.

Thanks,
The rest of the world

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You should have saved this for your live journal.

:shakes head: ahh, the downfall of the black man

LOL. wheres moe when you need him.

Thanks for not caring, we now return you to your regularly scheduled ignorance. When have black metal bands claimed they are a threat? Infoterror, you are clearly a fuckwad. If the objects of your incessant trolling are 'tools', then you are a tool shed.

yeah? well that's just like, uh, your opinion man.

Dont even worry about this guy. Hes just some toolbag troll that basically got run out over every other metal board so now he's decided to grace us with his presence for a month or two. He pulls this shit all the time. All he talks about is how untroo everyone else is and how he's king shit because he sits alone in his moms basement with all his uber cool rare lp's that nobodys ever seen because nobody ever want to fucking hang out with him. Ill see if I can find a picture of him somewhere. He kinda looks like what might happen if Tiny Tim and the mom from Throw Momma From The Train had a fuck fest one night.

hahahaha
"OWENNNNNNNNN!"
"yes mama"
"get me a sodaaaaaaaaaa!"
"in a minute mama"
"don't you in-a-minute me! get off your fat little ass before I break it for you!"

HAHAHAHAHA OWENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I cant find a direct link to his picture but its on this thread I posted. Dude used to call himself "Prozak". Look for the picture of the tombstone that says "Here lies the reputation of Ray Prozak Spinoza" or something like that. Belive me its worth a look if you need a laugh.

black metal is awesome. who cares if its not taken seriously anymore? theres nothing better than spikes, corpsepaint, elaborate cod pieces and raw screeching on a 4 track recorder. i dont think it will ever get old. everyone talks about bands selling out for using keyboards and Burzum this and Mayhem that. i've listened to it for years and i still throw in "Det Som En Gang Var" or "Under A Funeral Moon" and it still sounds awesome. black metal is one of those genres that you can really do anything you want and people will either love it or hate it. do you think Dimmu Borgir cares that some kvlt homo thinks they arent "nekro" enough because they use keyboards? fuck no. they still do what they want to do. thats the way black metal has been, and i think thats the way it will stay. and thats just fine with me.

http://www.fmp666.com/messageboard/showthr....php?t=3757&page=2&highlight=Prozak

Theres the link. Enjoy.

that's this guy? With the graduation cap on? haha

Yea thats the guy.

litacore said:

"MOVE IT FAT BOY!!!!!"

unsalted nuts make me choke!

"you big poop"

Jesus Slaves has it right.

GRRRrrrr.

Metal in general is hard to take 100% seriously.

who was ever threatened by black metal fans or artists besides some norwegian christians in the early 1990's? there is nothing threatening about black metal, it's all a big joke. the whole scene was started by some dumb ass kids basically because they didn't think normal death metal bands looked or sounded evil enough.
some people claim to be very serious about black metal but all they're really interested in is looking "necro", playing B.C. Rich guitars and buying as many "kvlt" demos as possible.

I play Dean guitars

There's a lot of emotion put into black metal. Some of you just can't see it.

If you play any type of music just because its "evil" (read: for image's sake), you're a fag

oh and I play jackson guitars dammit

Quorthon was a dumbass kid, eh?

I don't think quorthon was particularly thinking about death metal when he was writing and recording bathory

I play bc rich. But my bc rich plays better than any guitar ive ever had. And besides its from the 80s so its faded to a nice shade of necro pink which makes me all the more metal and evil.

Arillius said:

that's only true for a few bands in my experience. the rest are just playing the music.

I agree with you Dave.. a lot of BM bands don't have that "feel" if you know what I mean. But then again, there are bands that do. One of the reasons I like black metal (and it's not all I listen to..) is because of the atmosphere it creates. The certain emotion it captures.. I can go on and on, but I'll just leave it at this: you either love BM, hate it, or think it's a joke. For me, it isn't a joke, but for a lot of people, they think it is.. and I can see why they do, I just don't agree with them. Given, there are a lot of joke BM bands out there, but there are also a lot of joke death metal bands, joke hardcore bands, or joke anything else.

Open letter to Infoterror...You are a homo and no one cares about your opinions,Take you and your Anus.com bullshit to some other board,Since 95% of the stuff you post here is from that board anyway

Did you see that picture? It speaks novels.

Christraper said:

i figured it was an exageration when someone said that he looked like tiny tim fucked Momma, but I guess that person was right. I personally would have said that he looks like the deformed kid from that Cher movie.

Christraper said:


Gotta love it.

next thing ya know infoterror is gonna say that emperor is one of the least musically talented bands ever

malettey said:

Oh look, it's fuckwad #2! If you think that is all black metal is, you are sadly mistaken. There are many introspective black metal groups out there in the world, with excellent, thoughtful lyrics and no kvlt/necr0 appearance issues whatsoever. The necro look is traditional, and it's actually a pretty cool tradition, but black metal has splintered in many directions and not everyone is into that anymore. Do you go harassing Scots for wearing a kilt and bagpipes at funerals or holidays? Different type of tradition, maybe, but a tradition none the less. So leave the necr0 look alone.

Also, like most art, black metal is 'implied' in its philosophy, yes it's 'evil' music, but through implication, not always action. This is the same for most musical forms. How many hardcore and punk bands have we seen practice what they preach? Not a lot. Just because some black metal musician doesn't come to your house and decapitate you or set fire to your church doesn't make the implications of his music any more/less 'evil'. Evil is the aesthetic perspective beyond the music. And that DOESN'T make their art 'a joke'. Was Escher a joke? Dali? How many paintings did they draw that they lived, even metaphorically? Not a lot in the end.

You tell me what music IS evil to you, fuckwad #2? Shadows Fall and Killswitch Engage? Grindcore? Industrial? Noise? It really shows how much you know about what you're talking about to make such worthless implications.

Black Metal Dork1: "Yeah, Dimmu sucks."
Black Metal Dork2: "I know! What poseurs!"
Black Metal Dork1: "Fags."
Black Metal Dork2: "Exactly. You know who else sucks?"
Black Metal Dork1: "Who? Cradle of Filth?"
Black Metal Dork1: "Exactly. Their singer is a homo."
Black Metal Dork3: "Hi, I'm new to the community. My name is Azborrath (aka Joe Schmoe) and I think Dimmu is pretty gay."
Black Metal Dork1: "Welcome."
Black Metal Dork2: "Yeah, their keyboard player sucks."
Black Metal Dork3: "Yeah, but Abyssic Hate rules."
Black Metal Dork1: "Totally! \m/"
Black Metal Dork2: "I've never heard them. Do you like Immortal?"
Black Metal Dork1: "Poseur."

This is why I don't listen to metal much anymore.

I'm glad you don't listen to much metal anymore.

Congratulations, you have just crafted a parodical metaphor for ANY specific music scene. You could rewrite that same sequence about 'emo', metalcore, power metal, grind, or fucking meringue.

It does not specifically apply to black metal, which like all other forms, has its elite and more casual fans.

I'm waiting for some REAL critique of black metal here, from a naysayer with a well-reasoned argument.

Lucifucked said:

all the bands you like are gay

Another convincing argument from another informed expert, yet none of the black metal bands I listen to are gay, literally or figurately. Thank you, come again!

Heheh. Don't pay them any attention Lucifucked, they're just trying to cause trouble. There is no 'convincing argument' for denouncing an entire genre of music except a severe case of narrow-mindedness. Apples and fucking oranges.

Lucifucked said:

Darn. and I was being totally serious.

Lucifucked said:

I plan on coming again about 20 minutes after your mom gets here.

davefromthegrave said:

Brilliant. Witty. And entirely original...hats off to you, sir.

Make sure you bring a shovel when you pick her up. She's passed away some time ago. But I would imagine skull fucking isn't out of the question. Have fun though, I won't tell father.

SEAN KEEP ABYSSIC HATE OUT OF THIS!

BornSoVile said:

but dood, c'mon bro guy for miles !

Lucifucked said:
holy shit is it easy to get you going.

christraper KIP WINGER WANTS HIS GUITAR BACK!

Assuming you actually do get me going. Which you don't.

i get your mom going

Right, which is what the other guy originally said...

The brilliance in here is blinding.

I win.

bestial onsluts said:

NEVER!!!!

i guess i picked the wrong week to start reading "lords of chaos"...

HAHAHA the last three posts have just made my day!!

Impaled Northern Moonforest is hilarious. minutes of fun.

hahaha, this whole thing is like, WHATEVAH
I just love black metal because I like the sound and as a musician it's much more of an open canvas for me. Ideology I'll leave to the politicans.

I love black metal too, which is why I defended it from this nonsense. Black metal is originally a music that involves ideology though, to varying degrees. Those are the bands that are remembered most, so it kind of puts pressure on all those inspired in that direction.

You practice or at least imply that same ideology yourselves...as I have seen on your website and in your lyrics.

It IS an open canvas, there are so many variations of it, from the serious to the abstract to even the comedic.

Why would anyone listen to black metal when they could get down with the sickness instead?

he's got a point

Lucifucked said:

Point taken. I actually DO hate Christians and Metalcore like it's nobody's business.

Hmmmm, now that Seth can't walk, maybe its time for an Impaled Northern Moonforest reunion.
Much like Grief and several other great bands, noone liked us until we broke up.
Time to ca$h in.

litacore said:

metalcore like Watchmaker?

Josh_Martin said:

is he expected to recover or is this final?

Joe/NotCommon said:

Josh_Martin said:

I would personally front whatever guarantee you guys needed to make that happen. A million dollars and a crate of Pop-Tarts, thirteen nubile virgins, whatever.

destroyyoualot said:

Ok, deal.

Send me an email so I have your contact info.
I need to talk to Seth to see what it would take to get him on stage.

litacore said:

He told me he should be back to normal in a few months.

Josh_Martin said:

Of corse, when I say "a million dollars and a crate of Pop-Tarts", what I mean to say is, "I'd really like a Pop-Tart right now". But I sure would love to see a INM reunion, especially if I had a Pop-Tart to eat while watching it.

uh, I didn't really expect you to come up with a million dollars.
However, I'm not reforming that band for free either.

Fuck it. fuck kids who were too young the first time around. No INM reunion. No Disrupt reunion either, EVER!

WHY YOU GOTTA GO BE DISSIN BLACK METAL FOR, MAN!?