i hate when i am sitting there at work trying to waste some time by taking a relaxing peaceful dump, and some guy comes in and does the same thing, but finds it necessary to be vocal about his issues. not like hes talking about it or anything, just grunting and huffing and puffing the whole time like hes giving birth.

you should have a conversation with him. ask him about the weather. or better yet, tell him all about your life.

ask him if its a boy or a girl

I have three kids, I have not had a peaceful dump in 10 years.