This apparently came from a local newspaper in San Francisco.

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Attention, radical unshowered vegans who've lost all perspective and want to blow up Whole Foods and set fire to shops that sell leather! When they haul your cute, dreadlocked butt to prison, be sure to request one of these fine facilities, where you can serve out your time enjoying low-grade vegetarian gruel, like tofu cattiatore in Pennsylvania, soy taco crunch in Tennessee and meatless Sloppy Joes in North Dakota. So helpful! Do inmates deserve accolades for wanting to turn their lives around and start eating healthier? Hell yes. Does PETA make you want to order a fabulous Prather Ranch grass-fed steak in defiance of its harsh Taliban-grade fundamentalism? One guess.

We get calls all the time from inmates who want to make a positive change in their lives by going vegetarian, and in the course of responding to these individuals, we’ve assembled the following list of the top 10 vegetarian-friendly prisons in the United States as a tidbit for curious citizens, a resource for prisoners’ rights groups, and, well, a menu for future inmates. Whichever category you fall into, I hope you enjoy it."

1. Idaho offers a lentil shepherd’s pie, vegan pizza, vegan Mexican pie, soy patties, soy sausage, veggie loaf, veggie lasagna, veggie meatballs, vegan hot cakes, vegan biscuits, cookies, cakes, pies, and puddings.

2. Massachusetts offers meatless chicken macaroni casserole, vegetable bologna, veggie burger, veggie meatballs, meatless chicken cutlet, meatless chicken nuggets, vegetable chop suey, vegetarian chicken stew.

3. Pennsylvania offers tofu cacciatore, soy BBQ, tofu stir fry, veggie burger, soy Salisbury steak, soy meatballs, tofu scramble, soy croquette, soy sausage patties, soy loaf, soy pasta casserole, soy stuffed cabbage and soy stew.

4. Georgia offers vegan BBQ, meatless deli slices, veggie patty, vegan breakfast patties, vegan chili, baked macaroni crumble, stir fried vegetables and oriental sauce, tofu scramble, vegan cornbread, vegan cookies, vegan cakes, vegan pies, vegan brownies, vegan muffins, vegan peach cobbler.

5. New Hampshire offers chili with texturized vegetable protein, chop suey with texturized vegetable protein, shepherd’s pie with texturized vegetable protein, veggie links, lentil meatballs, grilled tofu sandwich, vegetarian pot pie, veg stir fry, hummus, veg tacos, veg chow mein, veg stew, and several veg soups.

6. Utah offers sweet and sour tofu, tofu taco rice casserole, vegetable and tofu chow mein, veggie burgers, veggie dogs, veggie meatballs, tofu ala king, lots of tofu dishes.

7. Hawaii offers vegetarian shepherd’s pie with texturized vegetable protein, vegetarian stuffed cabbage with texturized vegetable protein, vegetarian stew with texturized vegetable protein, grilled tofu slices, vegetarian teriyaki burger, vegetarian long rice with tofu.

8. Tennessee offers texturized vegetable protein ala king, vegetarian sweet and sour, veggie burger, veg chili, veg stir fry, texturized vegetable protein country gravy.

9. Kansas offers a veggie burger, taco crunch, burrito, meatless pasta, meatless chili, loaded baked potato, vegetable rice soup.

10. North Dakota offers a veggie burger, meatless sloppy joes, veg fajitas, veg noodle stew, veg potato soup.

Uhhh... what does this have to do with sexual positions?

Because you get railed in prison.

Veggie dog up the ass is more guilt free than a regular one for some people I guess.

its funny to me how vegetarians hate anything to do with meat, but will order something made out of soy that has the word "sausage" in it, or is shaped like a burger patty. you go vegetarian, you eat your fucking celery and shut your blow hole.

Yeti said:

thats what i really don't understand.
but hey some people just can't eat meat.

Considering the fact that most people like the taste of meat regardless of whether or not they eat it, those who are opposed to it for ethical reasons would still like to eat something that tries to recreate the taste of it. So no, you are wrong, fuck off and die and let people eat whatever the fuck they want.

haha!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

BTW, vegetarian haggis is a lot better than you'd expect it to be.

Come to think of it, it's a lot better than you'd expect regular haggis to be, unless you have unusually high expectations for sheep guts and oatmeal cooked in a stomach.

I've actually come to find that most fake meat products taste pretty good. Fake cheese is the shit that will kill you.

Lamp said:

nope, eat your asparagus and cry yourself to sleep.

i think it's great that tax dollars go to preserving the diets of convicts. at least now i know that when they find all the dead hookers i've been hiding under the stage at the abbey lounge i'll be able to keep my diet together.