bennyhillifier

Saw that coming from a mile away, but that's awesome.

i can't beleive it's sept 3rd

one of my best stories ever... well, in june of this year, i got a 30 pack of PBR one night with my girlfriend. I drank about 18 of those peebers to my girls 5 or 6. I have a mentally retarded sister who is 46 and a burden to my whole family. She shits and pisses her bed every night and smells up my entire family's house with this horrid smell, mind you she has been doing this for as long as I can remember and I'm 28. So, she had some cheap ass k mart bought keyboard, and every morning at about 5 or 6, just when i go to bed, she would press her retard, shit covered finger on one key, with one sound. ambulance siren. so that 18 beer fueled night, my girl and i were talking about how annoying that fucking thing was, so i get a bright idea. i put on zombie make up and scare the fuck out of her. so after i look like the walking dead, i open the door to her room and start singing aha's take on me in a zombie voice. she gets scared and pulls her blankets over her head. i see that goddamned ,ey board next to her bed so i grab it. my girlfriend sees it in my hand and asks me what i'm doing with it. i say just watch. i proceed outside and grab my hatchet. i take one fell swing over my head and smash it. so i did again and again. i put a few good hatchet marks in it. my parents live on a lake, so i run to the end of their dock and whip it into the lake. understand that this keyboard has been a thorn in my side since i was 14. it felt good.. A few days later my mother tells me my sister can't find her keyboard and asked me what i did with it. and i still tell her. zombies.