Carl Cheddarsmooth is more metal than any shitty band who agrees to play shit fests in shit parts of New England.

Seriously, if shit talking a fest you don't even plan on going to is the highlight of your day, then you obviously have a very limited existence. You really could benefit from spending a few less hours on the internet. Just saying.

You know, now that I think about it, I WOULD rather eat Cheetos in my mom's basement than go to a fest about 99% of the time.

Can I just eat Cheetos in MY basement instead? While we're at it, can we change Cheetos to pork ribs slow cooked on the grill/smoker for 7 hours?

So what you're saying is that living like Dwyer is more fun than going to fests, right?

No idea how Dwyer lives.

Presumably living in his mom's basement and shoving G.I. Joes up his ass.

Then no.

G.I. Joe's wouldn't cut it for you, you are a power bottom.

ZIRCON WILL HEADLINE EVERY METAL FEST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only in a prison environment.

bennyhillifier