Forum.RttP{Nov 16, 2004 - Slayer in Portland, Me}

publicist said:

You didn't think I would notice this? What could have been handled better? I was willing to let this drop but you've crossed the line. I dare you, find me one other publicist who would let you shoot their bands without permission. You knew the protocol for shooting my bands, we even talked about this in the past, yet you didn't follow protocol this time?

I have no ego when dealing with press. I'm not the one who named dropped everyone I've worked with in the past. I've been around the block and been doing this a long time and firmly stand behind everything I do to help further the careers and visibility of my bands. I stated to you yesterday that the next time you shoot a RR band you need permission or there will be repercussions. I didn't say anything about the photos you already took and I never said you wouldn't get permission to shoot one of my bands again. Yet, you went out and started bad mouthing me and the label. That is unacceptable. You are the one with an ego, an ego that seems to have been bruised badly by this.

Besides being posted here, this was emailed to me. Seeing as though that's the case and this obviously affects a lot of people, I am doing the exact same thing "publicist" did. This is my response but here and in email.

1. The whole "boycott" thing was sarcasm, something that is not easy to interpret in writing. If you read on you'd notice that I said I love most of the bands on Roadrunner and I would never take this out on them by not covering them. Honestly, if I couldn't work with KSE or Chimaira or Machine Head again I would legitimately be heart-broken, because those dudes are awesome dudes that have always been awesome to me and I love their music, and I want more people to feel the same way that I do.

2. Obviously looking at the response of two other major concert photographers in New England, Carina and Aaron, you will see that I am not making anything up. They can both rattle off band after band they've shot that they've only gone through one publicist for, and if we got all the other photographers together here they'd say the same thing. You want that to change, and that is fine. I also said in this posting "I guess it's good to get it out of the way now" because it is true. None of us would have known about the way you wanted things done unless one of us made the mistake and got our asses reamed for it. It happened, it sucks that it had to happen and now we're getting the word out so that in the future things run smoothly the way you want them to. That's all good with me.

3. I have every single email I have sent and received since June 26th, 2003, the day I got my new computer. I have 2282 emails in my inbox, and all I have to do is click on your name and every email you have sent to me comes up and every email I have sent to you comes up. Before yesterday, I had sent you TWO emails, none of which requested my shooting one of your bands. Before yesterday, I had NEVER put a request through you for anything other than the Chimaira DVD. You must have me confused for someone else, and to be honest, you probably deal with a shitload of people so that is completely understandable and expected. I am just some random person you've never met and probably never will meet, so I don't expect you to remember me based on two emails. I said we got off on the wrong foot and you said no we haven't because we've worked together before. I was going to let that entire thing go because I hate the fact that this is happening (especially considering how much I love your label) and I wanted to move on, but since that's not the case here, no, we have NEVER worked together before. I emailed you when I found out you took over so you knew who I was, and that was all. I have not gone through you for any photo passes since you have been with RR. So yes, this situation did get us off on the wrong foot, and that's unfortunate since this is not what I am all about and I am sure you are an awesome dude to work with (and I have been told as much).

4. I have NO ego, which anyone that has worked with me will attest to, and this certainly didn't bruise whatever I may have at all. This is pure frustration speaking, nothing more, nothing less. I have made it abundantly clear that I did nothing I haven't done for the past three years, and Carina and Aaron will back me up on that because they do the same thing I do. It's completely retarded to have an ego in this because I'm just some writer/photographer. This isn't about me. It's about the bands and the music. I just work as hard as I can to help get that message out.

5. You talk about me badmouthing you and your label, yet I also said "I've always been the first person to defend them and stuff over the years because my dealings with them have always been awesome." I love your label. It's probably my favorite. People talk shit about RR staff all the time, and I am ALWAYS the first to say "hey, RR is an awesome label and it's not like that at all." You've never seen or heard that from me, and you probably never will, because I don't do it to make anyone happy or impress anyone. I say it because I mean it. You said that nothing was personal, so I am saying the same thing right now. This is not personal. I do not agree with the way you've handled the situation. You could have handled it a lot better, and it's not just you, I could have too, and I will be the first to admit it and take my end of the responsibility for it. We're both trying to be right when reality is, we're both right in our own way. You just happen to be the one with the authority. That doesn't make me wrong (my opinion, not what happened). If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. I don’t expect you to and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.

6. I've sacrificed way too much of my time and money to do what I do and I only do it because A. I love it and B. I like supporting the bands. That is all. I am the nicest dude you'll ever meet, one of the hardest workers you'll ever meet, and if people don't act like a total douche towards me, I'll bend over backwards to help them any way I can. I dare you to find anyone that will tell you otherwise about me. There are so many other things I could be doing with my time like actually having a life and taking more secure jobs but I am perfectly content making just enough to pay my bills and live moderately comfortably to help other people. I walked away from a $60,000 a year job living in Florida rent free to stay here and do what I love, then crap like this happens and it makes me question why I even care. I’m not saying this because I feel like I need to impress anyone, because to be honest I could care less, but this is where I am coming from and that is how I feel.

I am certainly not in a hurry to make enemies, and that was certainly never my intention in any of this, but I am pissed that things have gone down the way they have. I am sure you are too, and guess what, we both have every right to be. If these are the rules, then that's fine, I respect them, I have ZERO problems with them what-so-ever. NONE. This isn't about me, it's not about you, it's about the bands. I'll say it one more time and then there is no need to say it again, I didn't know the way you ran things and now I do. Now that I do, I respect that and I will follow your rules.

But seriously, I am sick of dealing with this, so from here on out I am done with it. I have sincerely apologized enough and if that's not good enough, then I guess that's not good enough. I am upset about the situation and I will voice those frustrations as I see fit. It has nothing to do with rules, because your rules are your rules. That's fine, I respect them, I know them now and I will abide by them. I have zero problems there. You're the boss when it comes to RR. That's cool, I respect that, and if we work together in the future I'm 100% down with that and will do things exactly as you want them done. I don’t think I can possibly reiterate that fact. But I am moving forward from this.

We all, as photographers, know the rules now. Whether you want to admit it or not, things WERE different before you got to RR and now that you are, they have changed. We all know that now, and we know what to do. You can make all the challenges and dares you want about finding publicists that do this and that, but obviously if three of us that happen to be posting here are all giving the same story, I'm not wrong. I'm not saying you are either, but there is an in-between. But we've all wasted enough time on this and I am done with it. I hope you appreciate the work that I do because I sincerely appreciate the work that you do. I am sure you could be making more money doing something else and without knowing you or a thing about you, I am sure you do this because of your love for the music as well. I respect that. I hope everything works out from here for everyone involved. Thank you for your time. -Jay