pens that won't write when you put them on paper and the metal tip drags dryly across the paper.

perforated edges that wont rip.

paper/cardboard individual orange juice or milk containers that won't fold properly on the lines, resulting in you butchering the top of the carton.

trying to get a new cd booklet out of the case but you don't have any fingernails so you cant get the edge up.

All of mine have to do with people. The rest is okay.

When people suggest that things, especially themselves, are random.
People who listen to everything/everything but country/everything but rap and country.
People who suggest that Led Zeppelin is the greatest band ever and only know Stairway to Heaven, Back Dog, Etc.
People who suggest that Led Zeppelin is the greatest band ever and don't even like Black Sabbath.
People who don't even like Black Sabbath.
People who say Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall were Pink Floyd's best albums.
People who love Pink Floyd but don't know Animals.
People who love The Mars Volta but pass on Pink Floyd, Yes, Rush, Kansas, etc.
People who group Def Leppard in with good bands.
People who call Def Leppard classic rock.
People who suggest that they know something or are special because they love classic rock but don't really know/give a shit about more than the one album with the biggest hits on it by only the biggest bands or, better yet, only Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Aerosmith.
Fucking Aerosmith.
People who think they're special for their musical taste who in fact have horrible musical taste.
Movie buffs who don't know Sergio Leone.
People who think Chuck Pahlinuk is the greatest writer of our time/ever and want to shout it from the mountaintops because it lets everyone know that they read books.
Vegetarians that are all about "the cause" and telling people what damage their meat eating does while eating a cheese covered omelette.
People who can't help making racist jokes every few minutes but "aren't racist".
People who like Dane Cook and no other comedians.
Dane Cook.
People who ask "have you ever heard of Dane Cook?"
People who find out what kind of movies I'm into and suggest that I see shitty movies.
Everyone I've ever waited on while working in a convenience store.
Very nice!/High five!/Napoleon Dynamite
"I can totally be a vegetarian and eat fish."
"Eating chicken doesn't necessarily make me not vegetarian."
"Sometimes I'm vegetarian."
"I'm a flexitarian."

-when my sister doesn't rinse off her fucking dishes so the sink gets clogged full ketchup, pieces of chicken, sour cream and cream cheese.
-when i have an itch on the top of my foot when i am somewhere that i can't take my shoe off.
-those stupid fucking "security" stickers on the top of CDs that say the name of the band and album (especially the ones on relapse releases that leave hideous amounts of residue).
-the fact that every single relapse release has a sticker on it that says "FOR FANS OF THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER" no matter what it is.
-mayonnaise.

It sucks when your trying to pick up a coin off the table and you try like 10 times and you cant get it so you end up dragging it across the table until it falls off the edge into your palm.

hahahaha those are all excellent ones that i agree with.

oh, and another thing...how fucking hard is it to cut up a goddamn quesadilla? chicken quesadillas are taco bell's staple (to me), and for some reason they can never cut them right so when i tear one piece off, it rips the bottom off of the next piece, and tragedy ensues.

HA! that is an awesome one. i fucking hate that.

i could go on for days, but i have to run some errands.

errands annoy the fuck out of me.

or when you open an individual slice of cheese, and a 1/2 inch strip of cheese rips off the top.

Yeti said:

When I ate cheese, I preferred getting a block and cutting it myself for this very reason.
A new roll of toilet paper sometimes does a similar thing but there is no block of toilet paper rememdy.

When i tell people I'm a comedian and the say"Tell me a joke"
When I'm jammin on my acoustic in public and someone yells"Free bird"
When I hook up with a chick and she calls me the next day
When i run out of beer

"Amish people. Why don't they get with the program?" - Peter Griffin of the Family Guy

when chips get broken and fuck up the natural flow of the pringles can

toilets that don't work even after you plunge the fuck out of them

ingrown hairs

pulling a tissue out of a top dispensing box and the whole stack of tissues comes out with it.

asian people on the train

MarkFuckingRichards said:

Ugh, remind me never to use the bathroom after your sister.

ZJD said:

Especially since Led Zeppelin didn't write any of the material on their first album and didn't credit the original artists.

http://www.classicrockcentral.com/

Pouring a heaping bowl of cereal in the morning, getting excited to eat it, then opening the fridge and finding out there's no fucking milk.

People who wear sunglasses indoors.

Having an itchy asshole in public.

Those faggy roller-skate sneakers kids wear.

Anyone whose baseball cap is on crooked.

Wiggers whose pants are so baggy they literally have to hold them up while walking around.

MarkFuckingRichards said:
tru dat. shit pisses me off

-Girls who ask what type of music i listen to and i tell them "you won't know it" then they respond "try me, maybe i do" "Gorgasm, Devourment, Aborted, *put death metal band name here* etc." they usually walk give me weird looks or walk away slowly.
-People who reference to Death Metal as "hardcore". Ex. "Yo d00d, you listen to hardcore stuff right?!?"
-"Whats the point of singing if you can understand what they're saying?"
-Attention whores, unless they want my attention specifically and are in fact a whore.
-People who like Meshuggah
-When I take my dog on a 30 minute walk and she won't piss but then right when she comes inside she dumps all over the place.

Mac OS X 10.2

People who want me to fix their Win 95 computer.

the homos that where their baseball hats with the STRAIGHT brims crooked, while still having the stickers on the brim. what gives?

thats cereal thing is definitely the thing that annoys me the most.

gangstas and their affinity for wearing XXXL-XXXXXL shirts when they are 5'6'' and 120 lbs.

black people that wear those dumb jackets with the GAY patterns all over them.

gangstas attitudes

illegal immigrants

people that are are the worst fighters ever and have lost like every fight they have ever been in... but are the first ones to wanna fight and that TRY to fight everyone like they are tough.

faggot hardcore "crews" that go looking for shit at shows.

crowd punchers

metalcore homos that try to play metalcore with "bree" vocals and label themselves as slam/death or death metal.

emo haircuts

mall goths

asian gangstas

COMPULSIVE LIARS

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryan_M said:

MILK

I woke up, can't wait to eat
Got my cereal, boy was I beat
Opened the fridge, and to my dismay
There was no milk, my mother will pay

I want some milk, my coffee grows cold
I want some milk, I should've been told

I wish I had some god damn milk
My Cheerios just ain't the same
I wish I had some god damn milk
Too bad the milkman never came

I can't go out to the store
I'll just wait till my mother buys more
I'll just have wheat thins and beer
If I get sick, the toilet is near

"fuck loggin' in" ... kill yourself plz and thx

U2

milk milk lemonade,
around the corner fudge is made.

Ryan_M said:

haha, are we the same person? well, probably not, but i agree 100% with the above statements.

to further the cereal annoyance, i sometimes don't eat the last bowl of cereal in a box because of all the fucking gross powder that settles in the bottom of the box. this happened to me this morning when i wanted to enjoy delicious apple jacks. i had to take one for the team.

and speaking of the "heelies" or whatever they're called (the roller skate shoes), technically they are sports equipment by MA law. hence, everyone under the age of 18 that wears these sneakers (and i hope everyone who wears these is weeellll under 18) has to wear a helmet. how hilarious would it be to see a bunch of stupid children walking around with helmets on? i almost took one of those kids out when i was at work one day. a 7' tall, 3' wide, 4' deep metal rack vs. a little shit in roller shoes would have been the match of the century.

i went to buy a hat the other day, found a nice black boston redsox hat with a black B and a white border around the B, but it was one of those elmer fudd looking hats with the straight brim. why? why the hell are these hats considered "cool?"

Ryan_M said:

that might just be the winner. that is definitely the most irritating thing i can think of. and those itches NEVER go away on their own, nor does scratching it really relieve anything, it just makes you want to scratch more.

headphone wires / cables that get stuck on things in ways that you couldnt re-create if you tried your damnedest

band members who never want to do anything and then act like your a dick for the slightest expression of frustration at their terminal lazyness

infect sli sli sli said:

YES! i could not agree with that statement more.

except for the grammar.

commericals that say "THAT'S HUGE"

-when people say "i could care less" when they mean " i couldn't care less"
-people who pop their collar
-guys who wear sunglasses inside at a club and/or anyone (especially guys) who wear those huge sunglasses that look retarded
-people who leave the tags and stickers on their hardwood classics hats and/or leave the brim straight
-douchebag soundguys who think clear the way is good music and that they're drummer is actually any good
-EMO!!!

there are many things that annoy me:
scene kids
emo kids and emo music
hot topic
abercrombie
tans
hollister
wiggers
gangstas
metalcore that rips off at the gates riffs
shows that don't start on time
rap music
babies
old senile people
stuck up chix
juggalos
chain letters
mall goths
mall punks
the mall
asshole hxc kids
braggin seaholics
feminists
republicans
nazis
reality tv
mtv and vh1

ooh i've got another one - clothes that people buy prefaded or preripped - that is just so fucking stupid and beyond me. i should start a brand where the clothes are wicked fucked up - sloppily stitched, paint and oil stains all over 'em. hell, it'd probably do pretty well with the fags that buy those faded and ripped hats at AE

timjohn said:

that trend is definitely fucking stupid as shit. i don't really care if other people want to dress like they've been sleeping in a dumpster for a few months, but when it invades all stores and takes the place of the regular clothes i want to buy, i get quite pissed.

This is a great thread.

-Going to second the take-the-dog-out-only-to-have-them-dump-on-the-rug thing.
-The sad hair cuts that cover one eye. See also: The Nikki Six.
-When people type "ur" instead of the apparently much more complicated "your".
-Your, you're, their, there, and they're...get it fucking right.
-When chicks pluck the fuck out of their eyebrows until they look retarded.
-Black girls that scream and yell in the back of the bus.
-The fact that Portuguese people are INCAPABLE of ringing a door bell and instead lean on their horn outside someone's house for 20 minutes.
-Immigrants in general. Do you really NEED to mow the lawn at 4am? Really? Are we sneaking up on the grass?
-That mung that solidifies on the top of condiment bottles. Also, when mustard pees on your food.
-MOVIE THEATER TALKERS. Get fucking killed.
-Morons that wear the bandannas around their face at shows.
-The neatly folded bandanna hanging out of the back pocket thing.
-Dudes who think they're rough in their sister's pants.
-Interrupters.
-Going into a room for something and then totally forgetting what you went to get.
-When envelope glue tastes like shit.
-People that "mall-walk" down a side walk but won't let you get by them and then stop dead in front of you.
-People that can't wrap their fucking heads around the self-checkout at the grocery store, but yet insist on using it anyway. This also goes for the dum-dums that can't work the Charlie Card system.

I could go on for days.

pam said:

thats the worst. I do the same shit on the internet.

hahahahaahaha, "when mustard pees on your food." that is priceless.

i'm being thoroughly annoyed at not being able to record soundclips from quicktime movies on my computer. i want to record some slut saying "yeah that's right, open up that whore meat with your cock," and many other hilarious phrases.

It drives me nuts. Goes right along with when you can't think of the name of a movie or song...and it's like, RIGHT THERE, but just won't come out and then you remember at the 2am a week later.

Or when I pour my coffee and forget about it and it gets cold.

I can't believe I forgot to mention reality shows. At least that made the list.

MarkFuckingRichards said:

My girlfriend recently brought to my attention how stupid Jenna Haze is.

"Yeah, fuck that pussy, yeah!"
"I'm fucking your ass."

I can't even begin to list what annoys me.

pam said:
the worst

hahahahaha, i need to see/hear that!

i spent about 3 hours watching porn last night at niccolai's house for the sole purpose of find hilarious shit said in porn. the same girl who said her ass was whoremeat said "i'm kelly fucking wells...and i'm a dick milker." fucking priceless. some of these samples will find their way into one of my new bands, easily (especially since MSD is in it).

- People who think death and black metal are brutal and/or evil.
- People who play death and or black metal specifically because they believe it is brutal and/or evil and thus makes them brutal/evil.
- People who think that they are different.
- People who think that they defy the common law of human nature, because they believe that they are different.
- People on the road who are in a rush, and lack the courtesy to wait for the person in front of them.
- People who are in a rush in general. Life is pretty long. Dude. Unless you get killed. In that case, you know, that whole rush didn't make any difference.
- People who think that they are better than someone else because they do something that someone else doesn't, and/or believe that someone that doesn't really care enough to do anything is beneath them.
- People who say "Get a life." and "I have a life." Well, quite clearly I have one of those. I'm sure you do too. Unless you're a zombie. That'd be pretty cool. Dude.
- People who can not take a joke.
- People who can not read sarcasm over the internet. It's really... not... that... hard.
- People who think Impaled is the greatest band ever. They're wrong of course.
- People who complain about how fat they are, or try to use their weight as an excuse.
- People who fail to realize that we do not live in a democracy. We live in a constitutional republic based off of a representative democracy.
- People who think Rome is better than Greece.
- People who think anywhere is better than Norway.
- People who prefer Finland and Sweden over Norway. See above statement.
- Women who require me to speak with them in order to elope. That wasn't how we did it in the old days. Did Conan ask? Did he?!
- Other things. Bye.

- Nick (True, I annoy myself constantly.)

I think this was a thread more about THINGS instead of PEOPLE.

My friend has this cowboy porno we used to get high and watch. This real cheesy cowboy with a moustache told the girl "Yeeh put that there nipple in my peehole."

Still makes me laugh.

ConquerTheBaphomet said:

People are the most annoying things there are.

ZJD said:

beat me to it.

people on this board who refuse to to log in and talk smack about local bands, with out really ever really listening to any of them
oh and that fag Rhys...

cat 5 cables thats a couple inches too short

ZJD said:


People who only know Hysteria and Pyromania, and assume that Def Leppard was always a pop band.

Try listening to the first two albums, and tell what it is if it's not classic rock.

ArrowHead is watching you said:

I'll admit that i'm not as knowledgable about Def Leppard as bands I actually like, but to be fair, the people I'm talking about only care about Pour Some Sugar On Me.

The early albums were pretty straightforward rock and roll albums. They didn't start doing the poppy stuff til Pyromania, which was still more towards the rock side of things. After they had so many "hits" from that album, they put out Hysteria which was nothing but radio oriented crap.

If you like classic rock as much as your initial post suggests you do, check out On Through the Night, or High and Dry, two great albums.

High & Dry is in fact a fantastic rock record.

Pyromania is a great album, I don't care what anyone says.

I like some of Pyromania, but I'd compare it to metallica's Black album. Solid on it's own, but when you look at it compared to the previous albums you know it was the turning point where they started to suck.

For ZJD, I can't find any actual full songs linked on the net, but heres the amazon page for On Through the Night - check out a few of the samples. You'll probably find yourself saying "This is Def Leppard?!?" Sounds more like the first Aerosmith album (Rocks) than anything recent they've done.


http://www.amazon.com/Through-Night-Def-Le...=UTF8&s=music&qid=1183496426&sr=8-8

I couldn't find anything either and amazon doesn't work for me but I'm downloaded some stuff so as to not be a shit.

Man, I wish those were full songs instead of crap quality clips. I've converted so many people into Def Leppard fans with this album. Usually just playing Overture, Hello America, or It Could Be You makes people forget all about "Pour some Sugar on our drummers stump arm"

ArrowHead is watching you said:

Hahahaha

I'll give it a listen once i found a working download. As far as my hate fest, I'll amend it to

People who group Pyromania with the likes of Paranoid.
People who consider anything before Nirvana classic rock

I really shouldn't add to this topic, because I'm too hateful and could go on forever:

Fat people who bring their children to fast food restaurants. Way to pass it on.

Immigrants who come here, get jobs, build families, and then talk to each other about how much better the "old country" is. I listened to this one all day at work today.

Men and Women driving while talking on their cell phones

Women driving while being woman

Retards that drop thousands of dollars pimping out their cars with spoilers, lights, sound systems, rims, etc... and proceed to keep living in their parents houses. You know your parents hate you, right?

Gay culture. It's sex, people. It shouldn't be the basis of who you are. I don't need a fucking parade celebrating my love of handcuffs and whipped cream, y'know?

Shopping malls

People who refuse to learn to speak english. I'm not talking about foreigners, I mean kids actually born and educated here who can't even put together a sentence.

Customers. Any form, shape, or situation. Most often, people spending money are assholes.

my absolute least favorite thing is forgetting what you were going to say to someone.

second worst thing: traffic

I'm listening to Overture right now, and it's pretty good. This would benefit a ton from great vocals and be way better, but it's definitely good enough to not hate just for being Def Leppard. I can't find the whole album for download, though.

MarkFuckingRichards said:

I don't know what happened - it used to be that you looked like a douche if you didn't roll your hat brim into a perfect semicircle, now everyone's hat has a wide flat goofy looking brim on it. And to increase my suffering, they put the goddamn thing on sideways and tilted over one side of their heads.

girls who wear big sunglasses
guys who wear big sunglasses
fat girls who wear big sunglasses

my girlfriend's sunglasses are kind of big, but her eyes are big, so she has a reason for wearing them.

MarkFuckingRichards said:

i have that exact hat haha. i hate the way fitted caps look and feel when theyre brand new too, what i do is buy a size up and wear it in the shower to form it to my head. then it doesnt look all boxy.

ArrowHead is watching you said:

This just made me think of another one.
Kids over 4 years old who still can't talk yet. Me and my brothers could speak almost fluently by 2 years old. I see little kids now, as old as 7 or 8 and they still babble and mispronounce their words like babies.
I raise my glass to all the "strong" "independent" women who are too obsessed with their lame careers to take care of their kids so they plop them in front of the TV and make them watch childrens' "educational" shows where the dialogue consists mainly of gibberish.

tylerl said:

Fixed

Ryan_M said:

7 or 8? Try 15 and 16. One location I worked at, I went on vacation. When I got back, they'd hired a new kid. A little black kid that looked like Flava Flav, but more haitian. Every time that kid said something, I'd answer with "What?". Every time. Whole conversations of:
"bluh bluh bluh"
"What?"
"Bluh bluh BLUH bluh"
"What?"
"Bluh Bluh BLuh glekk"
"Yeah, right. go clean the fryolater"

I though it must be because english was a second language for the kid, and he sucked at it. Then one day his family came in. His brother, or sister, (ugly fucking family) started talking to him in haitian or whatever. He said something, and he/she answered "Eh?". Even in his native language with his own family, no one knew what the fuck this kid was saying.

Which leads to my next peeve: Ugly families.

dreadkill said:

You're thinking of her b00b3rz.

I drive an ambulance during the day..and fuckers who drive slow on the highway make me wanna kill...

People who only want to hang out with you if youve got money to throw in on drugs.

when i get pulled over becuase my inspection sticker is expired by 3 days!

BOBDEAD said:

you're an EMT Bob? i thought you were a chair car driver. what level are you? we should be partners and blast some thrash while respondins to teh emergencies. it'll be fun!

tylerl said:

hmm...i've never thought of that. i may try it. how much smaller does it get though, and does it ruin the material at all? how do you dry it afterwards? i hate the fact that those huge hats make my huge head look even fucking bigger, and to get it low enough on my head, i have to either tuck my ears into it or let my ears get all fucking bent down and dumbo-looking, haha.

-people who only use EMGs (sorry everyone, passives are superior 9 times out of 10)
-people who dont retube their amps
-people who use sub par stock pickups
-people who scoop their mids
-people who skimp on integral parts of their rigs (ie shitty cables)
-people who take FOREVER to set up their rigs/kits
-people who don't even bother to get decent recordings of their band

most cables you buy are the same. the monster cables that everyone praises as being superior, dont sound any different.

Before I even read this: When you have to drop a deuce, and it starts off with exactly ONE authentic log, and afterwards it's just an intermittent torrent of orange mud and farts. That lasts fifteen minutes.

I was literally imagining bitching about this on RTTP as I was wiping; you guys saved me the trouble of creating a thread for it.

People who pop their gum or chew loudly. That really pisses me off.

Frequent / constant text messagers.

Jamaica Plain, Roslindale, Allston and West Roxbury

Brookline should annex them so Boston can be rid of their faggotry.

ArrowHead is watching you said:

uuuhhhh...yes you do.

oh yeah, you know what just doesn't sit well with me at all? weak fucking handshakes. unless you have a dead arm, you better shake my hand like you fucking mean it. i actually decided not to hire someone because he put no effort into his handshake. later on, when the company needed help desperately, i hired him. he turned out to be one of the shittiest employees i ever had to fire.

also, i hate when people don't give my pen back after i so politely lend it out.

Scrappy doo

that handshake one annoys the shit out of me too. its like, what are you gay?
kids who devote all thier time to being metal and evil and grymm, then have wicked cheesy/corny shit on myspace trying to attract girls. i actually think thats funny so nevermind.
black kids who call me cracka, then bitch about racism. shut your piehole, nigger.
movies that everyone claims they love because they are so artsy, then i watch it and want to hang myself 4 minutes into it.
zealots.
people who only ever want to talk about politics.
gotti boys.
girls who like gotti boys.
guitars that sound thin no matter how much you fuck with the sound.
people who listen to metal who think they are so fuckin cool because they listen to other types of music too.
people that text while you are trying to talk to them in person, especially girls.
fat girls who think they are hot. hahaha im an aweful person.
girls whos neck is a different color than their face due to makeup slathering, especially when they are fat.
attention whores.
people who text like they are talking on AIM. thats fucking obnoxious, just call me. actually dont because now i hate you for texting me 8 times in less than a minute.
people who wear work boots with the tag still on and obsess about keeping them clean. are you kidding me?
little kids. period.
cock teases.
99% of salad dressing because it fucking tastes like shit.
people who put ketchup on EVERYTHING.
people who sing along mad loud to music and are good. no one cares that you can sing and if i wanted to here the remix i'd buy it.
hello kitty.
music that isnt in order on an iPod or other mp3 player.
leather couches.
so much more shit i cant even begin to list it.

Multiculturalism
Capitalism
Liberalism
Dysgenics

MarkFuckingRichards said:

yeah you either wear it on your head as it dries or find something the size of your head to put it on (there's a mixing bowl in my house that's perfect for this haha). it'll be nice and broken in - they do make those floppy-kinda hats too but those are a little too old man/fan boy/teenage girl for me.

oh also, i HATE ketchup

thanks tyler, i'm going to try that when i'm willing to part with 30 bucks for one of those hats, haha.

oh, and i'm a ketchup fiend...but i only put it on normal stuff like fries, burgers and hot dogs. ketchup on eggs=the worst idea anyone has ever come up with.

Stupid lists, and dumb teenagers who hate on shit

People who say that others "hate on" things. I don't hate on anything, I just hate.
Besides, talking about the things you hate is fun!

MarkFuckingRichards said:

BLASPHEMER!!!

STRONG BAD: {singing} Email me don't email me, email me don't email me. {He pulls up the email and reads it aloud.}

Hi Strong Bad!
Do you celebrate thanksgiving
normally? Or do you have special
traditions for when Strong Badia was
first colonized? What's the story
about?

From your Buddy,
Shana Ma.
Los Angeles, CA

{Strong Bad reads "Shana Ma." as one word (Shanama). He also pronounces "Los Angeles" with a hard "g".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Oh, Shanama, the story of the colonization of Strong Badia is a tale as old as, say, the wireless Web {pause} or energy drinks maybe. It began in a period of strife...

{Cut to a shot of an old book on a wooden table. It is open and pictures Strong Bad, in a pilgrim hat, squirting ketchup onto a plate of eggs, next to Strong Sad in a wig and typical 17th-century clothing.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...when I was being persecuted for my beliefs.

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Ewwww! Ketchup on eggs?!?

{A caption reading "Ewwww! Ketchup on Eggs?!?" appears beneath the picture. The page turns to show Strong Bad reading the newspaper and seeing an ad saying "LOT FOR SALE! along with a page saying "Homestar declares eggs not a fruit."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I learned of a place where a man can be free. Free to do what he wants to do. Free to ketchup his eggs without being hassled by the man.

{The page turns to show Strong Bad and The Cheat, also wearing a pilgrim hat, traveling across Free Country, USA, Strong Bad carrying a musket and eating a sandwich and The Cheat dragging a bag along behind him. A caption along the bottom reads "The Three Stout Sub Sandwiches: The Ham 'n' Swiss, The Dijon Chicken and the Veggie Delux."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So I set sail with three stout sub sandwiches, and my best The Cheat to find this mystical land.

{The page turns to show the two of them meeting Bubs, who is waving at them, wearing a Sioux-style feather headband and wearing a loincloth.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I met a strange man who had strange ways and strange odors.

{The page turns to show Strong Badia in front of a glorious sunrise, above a caption reading "The Neu Wirlde."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And he led me to the new world, out beyond the dumpsters.

{The page turns to show the Tire falling onto The Cheat, whose hat is sent flying from his head.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} There was a brief struggle with the indigenous peoples.

{The page turns to show Strong Bad handing Bubs the rent check.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} At last, we reached an agreement to peacefully co-exist in this land, after I gave him my first and last months' rent deposit.

{The page turns to show a ploughed field where Bubs is planting a fish. Strong Bad is looking at him, holding a fish and a corn cob in his hand.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Then the strange man probably showed me how to put fish in the ground with corn, for some reason.

BUBS: {voiceover} This'll grow ya some nice fishcorn bushes!

{A caption reading "This'll grow ya some nice fishcorn bushes" appears at the bottom of the page. The page turns to show Bubs, The Cheat and Strong Bad sitting at a picnic table in Strong Badia, feasting on fast food.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Then we celebrated with a feast of some cold Hardee's he had laying around.

{Cut back to the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So there you have it, Shana... Shanamana... {singing} Shanamanamanamanamana tonight! That shoulda been in your history books at school. I gotta get on those people over at Hoofton Mifflin. Those guys are slackin off. {stops typing} Okay, so until next week, leave me alone!

{The Paper comes down.}

Whenever my phone rings, I want to stab someone.

MassOfTwoSlits said:

Me too. I fucking hate the phone.

Yeti said:

Wow, rough fucking life.
So much to whine about, so little penis....I mean time.

i hate it when my 87 f150 don wanna start

I love when black metal bands are too grim and kvlt to have myspaces and so its nearly impossible to track down a sample of their music. And even when they do manage to have a link on their geocities homepage for an mp3 its always broken. So when you finally do download or buy their music you quickly realize why they're so "underground" since they sound like complete shit.

Women, children, minorities and the elderly.

NO MILK FOR CEREAL BLOWS GOAT ALMOST HARDER THAN....

Fucking radio-commercial jingles!

"1-800-54GIANT - who do you call when your windshields busted"
"800-588-2300 Empire - Today!"
"Nationwide is on your side"

And the ever so fucking dreaded Bud Light "Mr. 80 spf sunblock wearer"
The list could seriously go on, and on, and on forever....
Shit annoys the sweaty, smelly balls out of me.

Plus:
-Stupid faggy reality tv shows about people that no one gives a fuck about.
-Biased media that gripes about biased media.
-Having no clean socks.
-Having no dirty socks to bust a nut in
-Hot weather (yea that's right, I can't wait till it's snowing again)
-People who RIDE the fucking break while driving when there's no need to
-Being happy about gas prices that are below $3
-People who orate their lives through their myspace thinking that for one solitary second that the world, through means of a fantasy online community, give a shit about who they last spoke to on the phone or the last thing they ate.

I'm a pessimistic prick. I could probably ramble on forever about things that piss me off/things to complain about concerning my views in observation of modern human behavior.

warm beer!

Dude, I love the real men of genius commercials...

hungtableed said:
hahahahahaha

MarkFuckingRichards said:

You, me, and Niccolai dancing naked in a circle is NOT a parade.

fuck loggin‘ in said:

i want to fight you

archaeon said:

I knew I wasn't the only one who shoots em' in dirty socks.

pam said:

That shit itches my balls. It makes me want to go drink myself into oblivion....not from rust-water-Bud Light obviously.

pam said:

i do too. the newest one is funny but i forget what its about.

this thread is like a therapy session.

women who shave this pussies, but for get to shave thier assholes.

-when you think you done pissin, but then put you dong back in your pants and pee a little.

"People who suggest that Led Zeppelin is the greatest band ever and don't even like Black Sabbath. "


Me.

And at least Zeppelin had song dynamics that were fluid. The end of National Acrobat has nothing to do with the rest of the song...

archaeon said:

or..when you feel like you gotta piss so you go to the bathroom and just cant make it happen

Girls who wear big stupid glasses
When people don't use a blinker

timjohn said:

Hahaha that's a good one, I fucking hate seeing kids with their collar up. I can't understand for the life of me why people think that looks good. I don't see anything stylish or cool about it, all I see is a fucking retard who forgot to fix his collar.
Usually guys who do that are also wearing flare jeans with flip flops and probably have another guy's dingleberries in his pubes.

yeah dudes in flip flops in general (unless you're at the beach) is pretty lame

MarkFuckingRichards said:

haha yup i remember in the sixth grade i used to collect fitted caps when they were 2 for $10 at olympia sports

infect sli sli sli said:

HAHAH cristian

people who complain about things that piss them off.

pam said:

that is top on my list also. or when they wax it off completely and just pencil it in. topped off with way too much lip liner and you have named just about every girl in woonsocket.

FuckIsMySignature said:

Best post of this thread.

taking a bite of pizza when the cheese sticks together and slaps onto your chin burning the fuck out of it with sauce

anyone who wouldn't execute carlos mencia if they had the chance

-when you take a massive shit thats so big when it hits the water in the toilet some shit water comes up and splashes your ass.

-conservative americans

-liberal americans

-cinco de mayo (when did this holiday become so "cool"?)

-when someone finds our you are in a band and ask "do you guys like play out and stuff?"...always followed by "You guys like right all your own stuff?"..."Really?"

-people who dont like arrested development

-the serious educated person at the party that wants to talk politics/poetry/anything and everything you DONT want to talk about at a fucking party

-when someone asks for a beer run and say "its not much" and you end up walking out with 2 different 30 packs and a liter of goldschlager

-anyone thats famous

-anyone with a rags to riches story

-9 out of 10 sports movies that are based on true stories that have the SAME FUCKING PLOT just a different sport. (one kid always leaves then comes back at the end, huge come from behind lead, coach that faces serious battles on and off the field.

-just about everything.

asian girls over 20 that hold their mothers hand when walking down the street

any asian at all that drives

sideways vaginas

Being stopped at a red light, and the cars in front of you keep inching up, like that's going to make it green. This is especially maddening if there's a big truck in front of you and you can't see the light, and he starts inching up, so you assume the light is green and hit the gas, only to have him slam on the brakes a second later. I rear-ended a pickup a few years ago because of that and smashed the whole front end of my car in on his trailer hitch.

Speaking of pickups, another thing that sucks is these macho redneck guys who drive around in big pickups, not because they have to carry large things often, they just like being above everyone else and driving around like they own the road.

FuckIsMySignature said:

For the win!

Old men/woman in front of you at stores. They have to argue their change, coupons, prices, lottery tickets, and then shuffle out of your way.

Why do women ALWAYS need to try and make EXACT CHANGE every time they are at a cash register? They all fucking do it. Your mom, your girlfriend, the bitch in front of you at the convenience store. "Oh, I think I've got the change ..."

Old ladies who bathe in perfume

Guys wearing their pants lower than their ass. I don't want to see your boxers, and I don't care to see the shape of your buttock. Either I'm old fashioned, or you look like a fucking retard.

Loud neighbors who complain if you are loud. Fuck you!

"Speed kills". Fuck you. Speed NEVER kills. Accidents kill. Speed doesn't cause accidents, it just makes them fatal. People need to get off the fucking anti-speeding crap and worry about all the tail-gaters, idiots playing with phones, rummaging through the glove box at 80 MPH, and over aggressive monkey boys. I'd trust a guy going 150 MPH who stays way the fuck away from me and drives attentively over a fucking soccer mom riding my ass at 50MPH while talking on her cell and filling my entire rear view mirror.


I could really write this shit all day.