So i been thinking. There are too many times when i type exactly what i would say, and people obviously don't get that it's sarcastic, and get offended, angry, horny, etc... So my solution:
At the bottom of every one of my posts that i think people will NOT get the sarcasm in, or ones that i think they will interpret with sarcasm i didn't intend, will have the sarcasm meeter. This will put an end to people misunderstanding what i am trying to say. Hopefully this will catch on.



Sarcasm Meter
X
Literal 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 100% Sarcastic


Multiple edits here, but it looks right now.

meter

5

way to go Jim, this is a brillant idea.

How do you use it?

like this:
SM: Literal

Or like this:

OH AWESOME IDEA
SM: 10

Only times when you need to put the meter up is what you need to do it to desriibe how you are feeling. The sarcasm meter ul-ul-ultimately will take over in your world online.

For your technology

Jim, really? I think it's the other way around, you're the one who never seems to understand sarcasm from other posters.

SM:0

yes, the second way. either 1-10. 10 being 100% sarcastic.

Jim's a big goofy head who isn't good at kissing.

Sm: 99

You see, my "Not understanding" is usaully my own personal form of sarcasm. Now you know... bitches.

SM:0

Truth

SM: 10

I don't think you get the Sarcasm Meter sir. 99 is NOT a value that would fall anywhere on the scale.... but i know what you mean so it's ok... nice try.

So basically, you're saying you're gay?

SM: 2

We're done.

SM: -99

Yes, a great way to pussy out when called on e-crying every five seconds.

this website sucks now, thanks Jim

Not sure how you got that, but nonetheless..... no.

and let's not kill the SM already people, I know your all just trying to "get the feel of it", but in the end, you don't need to use it constantly.

SNARK!

anytime.

It might be a good practice to use it constantly, though.

Saves people the guesswork.

SM: 0

true

NIGGERS

SM: 0

I kinda like this.

Way less l4m3 than emoticons.

Good job!

SM: 0

I like all of you.

SM: 3

SM: 0

SM:10

farts are better than most everything in life combined.

SM: -10000

yeti, that was deep.

Hoser is funny and has valid opinions on political topics

SM: 209301973712

oh jim.

SM:5

DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!!

yea sweetiepie?

I remember when this board had no sensitive faggots.
SM: 0

HIGH54CANCER: i hate that website now

whats wrong with [/sarcasm]?

honestly if someone does not get sarcasm that is their problem for sucking at life not your problem cause they are emo

sm 0

back'd

lol @ Jim, King of Emo

ooooooooor Queen of Emo

me? emo? .....

Tits, football, beer, brutaldeathmetal, analrape, khed!

that better?

This is what you people get up to when I'm not around, is it? LOL

SM 3.14

wow, was that a rating of pi on the SM? Brilliant.

it was fucking brilliant.

Mathematically circular sarcasm - it's more likely than you think!

SM 30X6

This thread sounds like the first two rows at a Coldplay concert.

SM: 0^0.5.....0^10.....0

dicks.
sm: 6.023e23

my head hurtee.

Brian Williams enjoys the company of women.

SM: f(x) = 1.5(x) + 3 + 2(x); f(2)

Maybe this was a bad idea.

360 degrees would be circular.(or square even)

not sure if i get the 30x6

it equals 180.

in geometry an object with 180 degrees is a triangle.........

forgot to ad

sm 0

Or he could just be turning to face the opposite direction.

you cant replace pi with pie

no, you.

Can the sarcasm meter be used sarcastically?

SM: 1092834203894234 (or maybe 1. Who knows.)

you are all milkfaced raviolis

i don't know what that means.
SM:0

what about using the Pyfagium Queerum with the SM...

for instance:

Mathematical jokes using offensive anti-gay terms are very funny.

SM: The square of the hypotenuse of a faggot purple triangle is equal to the sum of the square's on the other two homos

that's cause you're a fuckin n00b

I guess your right.

IMPLEMENT THIS NOW BEFORE INTERNET SARCASM KILLS SOMEONE

this was a good one.

who the hell was telling me to do this at a show?

probably me. although I'd need one in real life too (especially for DYA. Deadpan humor does Not work with him)

It should really be a some sort of emoticon that means sarcasm. The 1-10 thing was originally intended to describe how my voice would sound if i said it, in other words, something could definitely be said with sarcasm, but only enough in my voice for someone to know that i was joking.

While people seem to have misunderstood. For instance, recently i used a SM:7 after something i said that was totally a joke, but said with a moderate amount of sarcasm. They took it as what i was saying was partially true. That's not how it works.

So with an emoticon people would know if it was sarcastic, or not. And that's all you really need. DO THAT REV

really? That somebody mustve been a moron.
SM:1

see, you used it perfectly there. Cause OBVIOUSLY you were joking, cause that someone was you. BUT you weren't only joking 1 out of ten, you were totally joking, just doing it with an ALMOST straight tone of voice. (which is common for self-deprecating humor)

i think you should just let people figure it out for themselves. if they take it seriously, tell them to get a high colonic to loosen up. if they don't and it is serious, punch them in the ballsac.

Well, i definitely agree for certain situations... the problem with that is that people that i like very much that don't understand my humor. I mean, shit, my band stands in the same room i do and doesn't understand when i'm joking and when i'm not. So if there's a way to make people understand what you're trying to say better while on the interweb, it just makes communication better.

my problem is I've fucked everything up by not using it and being sarcastic all the time, or using it when I'm not being sarcastic. Also, toying with people for shits and giggles. No one knows when I'm joking or serious; it'll always remain a mystery.
Only in real life does it matter

i know what you mean, there are many times i have to add "just kidding" to avoid a neurotic breakdown from the other person. people are way more uptight now too, which doesn't help. everyone is so self-absorbed that they think everything is an attack on their well-being, and they have to justify their meaningless existence by getting all pissy and defensive.

only real life is real.

In other words, I'm surprised I haven annoyed the fuck out of anyone on this board outside of martins.

I think you think you annoy/ed me more than you do/did.

i found your overly sarcastic demeanor hilarious.

For example:
rustyPS thinks I really hate clay buchholz. I've had that dude going on that notion for a year now. bahaha

you're evil plans are falling into place ***steeples hands***

come on man. you and bloodeyebetty were the only two who sent me angry PMs.

Mine wasn't even angry. Your english degree may not have taught you reading comprehension or maybe you're just out of practice. I don't know. Let's fight it out at Cynic.

*shakes head*

Okay I was pissed. PISSED like death metal pissed

Let me rephrase, as I just reread it.
You were slightly angry and depressed because I called you naive in a thread. The note you ended on definitely reeked of passive aggressive anger.

you people are faggots
SM:1

aril has an english degree... ahahahahahaaahaha

Entry degree for when I get my phd.
See, that rhymes. 4 years of college for that.

your a poet and didnt know it.

and nilla, you knew I had that. We'll see who's laughing when I'm your age, shitbag.
sm: 6.66

I thought this might be a good time to bring this back.