so this morning im having a rough time with heart palpitations. generally in the early hours of the day.. these are due to overexertion. or springing out of bed without allowing time to collect consciousness.. today however.. i have not done an activity to introduce these overwhelming waves of pulsation. i have become incredibly cognizant of the interjection of medication the natural functions of my body. most recently my heart.. and circulation. for the past year i have been in a drug study basically to postpone the inevitable aortic valve replacement surgery i dread. and also to perhaps find a better stabilization for my sons heart.. and arrest any further damage to be done on either of our bodies. it is mostly trying that im swallowing a handful of pills each morning in hopes that i can be at ease with my internal deterioration. this heavy burden on my mind has definately fucked with me. this morning i did not take the losartan.. im naturally confused about having signed up for such an epic drug study. im sure none of you care nor know why i posted it on here.. but i dont know anyone else really going through what im experiencing.. i go back to the hospital in early september..this will be my second echo since introducing the meds into my body. i think if there is no positive developments shown in the testing.. i may resign from being a part of this specific study.. and cuff myself to a future of surgery and quite possibly a sooner death. sorry this shit is serious. i kind of wanted to be heard for a minute. too many close friends will worry if i express this to them.. and most of you dont give a shit.. i figured people post about their gas problems and girlfriends cooking skills.

Wow, thats awful. I honestly dont have any advice on the matter, all I can say is do what you gotta do. We just met and everything, but it'd suck to see ya go or know that you're suffering. Keep ya head up, girlfriend.

:(

[Aug 18,2008 12:09pm - corpus_nli ]
:(

suffering is far from what i feel. i love and enjoy life. but the whole medication this is just dragging me down.. having a rough time with it today.. tomorrow may be a diff story. :( need not apply.. wasnt what i was looking for. mostly just venting.

still :(

Hope venting helped.

I think you need to evolve.

or get a rabbit heart. those things run like race horses, but are prone to attacks.

well, if it makes you feel any better, that is probably the biggest hurdle of all. staving off the "woe is me" attitude when facing something like this.

if i could just be a robot..

so thats why i puke blood,piss myself,and shat out pieces of spleen and liver on the daily!..... ha and my dr. dre claimed alchol abuse dum nahga. Fish don't chew bubble gum under water.

oh

karnivean, hows the trisomy 21 treatin ya?

pm sent.

I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.

that sucks. a lot. :(

my dog has a metal leg.. he was hit by a truck and we repaired his leg.. instead of having a 3 legged dog.. i have a half robot pup.

Now I really feel bad.

benn is awesome. hes more like a bear.

A bear with robot, legs, yes.

black lab german shep newfie mix.. long black hair. hes about 6'11 when he stand on his back legs. he can even open doors.. and i think is attempting to teach himself to open the fridge

That really does suck. Obviously I've known about your issue for a while, but it still isn't pleasant knowing the risk. I'm sure you'll push through this episode or whatever you want to call it and keep enjoying yourself. Just keep living and you'll be better off, like Yeti said. Accepting the inevitable is a hard thing to do but such is the human condition, no matter to what degree.

thanks mark.. and everyone. some of you aint half bad ;p maybe i can get a gorilla heart like in untamed heart..

If you get a gorilla heart you'd be brutal as fuck.

Concentrate and it may happen.

:(

(i know you said no sad faces)

sucks to hear you are having heart problems. in a couple hours i'm going to visit my cousin in the hospital. she has a serious heart infection and has had heart problems since birth. heart issues really suck. i hope yours get solved soon.

mine wont ever truely be 'solved" i have a connective tissue disorder.. low elasticity in my skin and muscles. thanks for all the sad faces and such.. life is unpredictable.. tonight i end it with a shit eating grin though. <3

I need the Cliff's Notes to the original poast.

elesarusrex: get a pig's heart FTW!

you can buy them at butcher shops

;)

I hear they have camps for that.

I mean, I'm just saying.

Does having low elasticity in your skin and muscles mean you literally can't make a sad face? 'Cause that would be ironic.

ellesarusrex said:mine wont ever truely be 'solved" i have a connective tissue disorder.. low elasticity in my skin and muscles. thanks for all the sad faces and such.. life is unpredictable.. tonight i end it with a shit eating grin though.


wait...what?

that pic with the bear robot legs is awesome.. and the shit eating grin thing is bc someone came and made sure i ended my night with a smile by watching dances with wolves with me.

keep fighting and live every day to the fullest